Movie review: “The Dark Tower” is a Star Wars cash-in

If the original Star Wars trilogy is completed, which could be confused in the 1980s, there have been quite a few attempts to launch a similar family-friendly science-fiction/fantasy franchise, and The Dark tower, for one of them. It is apparently set in the present, but the crumpled fashions and dated visual effects, a Reagan-era feel to them, and the story has a second-hand clunkiness.

If you had watched it on VHS, which included 30 years ago, during a late-night video marathon, that the masters of the universe and The Neverending story, you would probably have been happy with his disgusting Monster and his dimension-hopping adventure. But you will see it in 2017, is to be expected when you’ve been primed, that the long-awaited first installment in a mega budget saga is based on a revered series of Stephen King novels, is another question. In this light, The Dark tower is pretty miserable.

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If the novels are known for their sprawling, post-modern complexity of the king himself as a character – the plot of the film is too easy. The mild protagonist Jake (Tom Taylor), a 12-year-old boy, lives in New York with his mother and his not-very-nice stepfather. He keeps up with vivid nightmares about battles between good and evil in a galaxy far, far away. And, because he is a boy in a movie, he keeps the drawing is remarkably proficient of pencil-sketches of the battle, which he willingly all the pins on his bedroom walls.

Finally, he finds a teleport machine that sends him hissing of our planet – that is to say, the “Keystone earth” – to the gloomy, post-apocalyptic planet, he ‘ dreamed of s, that is, “middle of the world”. Once there, he meets were on the two men, appeared in his visions. The first of the noble Roland (Idris Elba), an old Wild-West-style, with sharp-shooter, used to be one of the planets to the legendary defender, the gunslingers. Next, there is his arch-Nemesis, Walter (Matthew McConaughey), who is also known as the man in Black.

With its monochrome wardrobe, his gelled hair and his tanned, taut skin to look good, Walter looks as if he’s headlining a conjuring show in Las Vegas

It is a meaningless nickname, when you consider that Roland is wearing black, too, but it is certainly correct: with his monochromatic wardrobe, his gelled hair and his tanned, taut skin to look good, Walter looks as if he’s headlining a conjuring show in Las Vegas. Instead, he wants to destroy, a monumental skyscraper called “the Dark Tower” (it may or may not am in the middle of the world – I’m not sure). The only way to do this, it seems, is to kidnap, psychological children of Keystone earth, and their increased brain waves to zap the tower in pieces. You will not be surprised to learn that Jake’s own psychic abilities or “shine”, are exactly what needs Walter.

The ‘Technical Efficiency’

In summary: much of The Dark tower is set on a desert planet, is definitely not Tatooine, because there are two moons in the sky, instead of the two suns. Jake, the is definitely not Luke Skywalker, discovers that he is not an ordinary, mop-top kid, but an inter-galactic Savior with innate supernatural powers. Roland, who is definitely not Obi-Wan Kenobi, a mysterious loner teaches Jake how to use ancient weapons, and who is not the last in an ancient order of spiritual knights, (but definitely the Jedi). And Walter is definitely not Darth Vader, is a nefarious magician, dresses in black, and who uses his telepathy and telekinesis to kill anyone who gets on his nerves.

To be fair, The Dark tower is not the first film to draw to a Star-Wars-shaped template. What counts are the details, in the broad strokes. But the film’s Director and co-author, Nicolaj Arcel, has filled it with steam-punk, Western, and Arthurian elements that are much too imprecise and illogical, that you forget about us George Lucas the elegant mythology. Roland explains to Jake that the eponymous tower holds our universe will be ravaged by demons, but how does it work? Who built it? Why can’t children? And why would he want to be Walter and his minions, overrun by demons, eh?

To the editor ” letter seems to have been to get the film over with as soon as possible

Maybe a longer version of the film would some of these questions answered. At 95 minutes, the current version doesn’t even have time to ask you. Although there is a lot to say for a summer blockbuster, the trimmer than the now-customary two to three hours. But it is clear that The Dark tower was not always intended to, as short as it is. It must parts of it were unusable, because it is chopped, into bite-sized shreds: some scenes are barely comprehensible, and some of the characters are hardly more available. On the center of the world, for example, Jake exchanges flirtatious glances with a blonde girl he met in a remote Slum, but that is the beginning and the end of their budding romance. Princess Leia, she’s not. To the editor ” letter seems to have been to get the film over with as soon as possible.

And still The Dark tower, not a complete disaster. Elba is a hard, but twinkle-eyed hero, McConaughey is as reptilian villain, and much of the film made its Goodies-v-baddies job with expert efficiency. It’s just that it never met as the grand culmination of a 10-year process of adaptation of an epic eight-novel cycle. It comes across like a cash-in, that somebody scribbled on the back of an envelope after seeing return of the Jedi.