Our current President, like no other. He achieved that rare feat of being both simple and mysterious at the same time. He promised to limit Muslim immigration, and, immediately on taking office, put the squeeze on Sudan. Thank God for that, because if they really were at the airport, the Sudanese people will descend on America like drunk tourists travelling by bus on Tits Vegas.
But then he clips something about “terrorists” in Sweden, which baffled everyone, especially the Swedes, who can’t make a lick of sense what he’s talking about. And these are the people who came up with “IKEA”.
Let me just say that I understand trump abstruse diction. I’m the guy who bothered to listen epic arcane Dylan sad eyes Lady of the lowlands enough times to understand it, it was really about his drummer.
One of the oft-repeated trump’s pre-election promises were “guaranteed” plan to destroy the Islamic state within 30 days after taking office. Understandably, he refused to tell what the plan was. “Everyone will get the idea, work with it, and people will forget where he came from,” he explained. During the third presidential debate, he bent his arm slightly, “what happened with the element of surprise, OK? These people are all gone. They are all gone. Douglas MacArthur, George Patton spinning in their graves at the stupidity of our country.”
For example, I am willing to believe that my President is a man of action. Thus, I can only assume that at some point, about February 20 of this year, trump destroying ISIS. Any subsequent media mention of their nefarious activities is “fake news”.
Obviously we don’t know exactly how it all went down, because if trump revealed that Intel that someone will steal it, use it to destroy other terrorist organizations, and forgot to give him his due, which is downright rude.
The first month of trump’s lies
I took the liberty to speculate how and where this epic battle to defeat ISIS took the place, glued together from bits of information I found out from the news. I can’t quite stress that I was joking … but I think it happened in Sweden. This explains the mysterious hint of a lot of terrorists there. It is not excluded that the bulk of the recruits of ISIS, who are concentrated mainly in Mosul and raqqa were systematically beaten back to the outskirts of Stockholm?
That makes sense. No one in Sweden paying any attention to world events. They’re too busy looking at them in a nearby income tax statements of the neighbors or watch “slow TV” broadcasts for the train chug through the snow. More importantly, from the point of view of the imaging and extraction of important information from the captives, Sweden is the perfect place. He openly condones torture, as one who ever listened to Abba knows.
It is curious that trump is called Patton and MacArthur in his deliberately veiled strategy – two generals obsessed with the idea to defeat the enemy, pursuing them through the vast territory of the continent. They were desperate, LIH, churning up the earth in full retreat, ragged, disoriented, pausing only to phone some stores in the U.S., posing as fashion buyers, requiring Ivanka line of Haute couture clothing will be reset. If this is not the last desperate act decimated the army, I don’t know what it is.
Where was trump on 20 Feb? I’ll tell you where. The restaurant by the pool in his posh Mar-a-Lago to retreat in Florida, watching shipmates in 100-dollar bills like Scrooge McDuck, and likely spending a “fake” meeting with members of the government. Perfect moment! Although visitors within earshot be able to listen to the discussion that they assumed was at the highest level of the national security policy, the real policy in a suburb of Stockholm: the ISIS are killing wholesale. This is the scenario Bacchic directly from the Third Reich. Although in any case we make the mistake of comparing trump to Hitler; Hitler managed to get elected without the help of the Russians.
Whether or not achievement trump to stop violent rotisserating dead generals, nobody knows. Patton stopped the German army. MacArthur stopped the Koreans. LIH consists of 160,000 recruits. To put this in perspective, there were 160 000 people in Lionel Richie was set last year at Glastonbury. I don’t play into the mysteries of ISIS. I’m just saying that the attractiveness of travel by jihadi stronghold to do with the blood of apostates is no more or less attractive than standing in the mud and watching the guy sings about dancing on the ceiling.
“Wait a minute, rich,” you probably think. “Given the unbridled narcissism of trump, he certainly would have written this monumental event in ALL caps now?” You forget that trump’s strategy is two-pronged. He not only promised to “bomb the shit” out of ISIS, he also promised “to take all their oil”. Given the logistical difficulties of getting all that oil in America, trump is probably waiting until the last party will come to rule over all his detractors. I personally look forward to these ISIS-brand gas station opening soon on American streets.
Rich Hall Countrier than on BBC4 on Friday 17 March